And you are here why?

Showing how the connections between the characters evolve as the movie progresses

Proving once again that there are second lives in showbiz, check out even more JCVD Epicosity - here be royalty free green-screen footage. Happy Days!

"Michael Bay" answers critics of his next movie Easter: The Rise of Jesus  over at  The League   of Ordinary Gentlemen .  This is, for once, a director telling it like it is, leaving no stone unturned, no controversy unaddressed. Casting! To that end, let me first address the so-called “outrage” over our casting decisions.   Neither Universal Studios nor myself, nor anyone else involved with greenlighting the production are fools.  We all knew the casting of Vin Diesel as Jesus would be controversial.  We also knew that, artistically, he was the  only  choice.  Vin was also our first choice.  Rumors that Channing Tatum had initially been inked are just that:  rumors . Apostles! Do I know that the real Jesus chose twelve apostles?  Of course I do.  Did Jesus know that teams of over six don’t focus-group well?  Probably not.  So when you think about it, it’s really a wash. Universal and I decided t...

At the National Post ,  Steve Murray has a wonderful description of the difference between Marvel and DC movies .  In short, DC went all in on GrimDark™, and Marvel bet on "Fun". Back in the ’60s when Marvel Comics characters such as Thor first appeared in their books, they were complex, well-rounded antidotes to the campy, consequence-free narratives of DC Comics’ Superman and Batman. However, somewhere along the way to modern movie appearances, the managers of the DC characters mistook complex for mirthless, and Marvel has managed to balance their history of multi-dimensional characters with a sense of fun onscreen. You come back to Marvel movies for the characters, not the spectacle. Now this, of course, is a Cultural Lesson gleaned from 2013, but I don’t think DC and their parent company, Warner Bros. are going to change tactics with the 2015  Superman  sequel featuring a Ben Affleck Batman. It will undoubtably have the dark palette and brooding characte...

now with extra Colin Firth goodness! Except that I've got to wait an entire year.  Sigh... "Please look after this bear" :-)

via Fathom Information Design , we have this complete breakdown of all the Rocky movies (including the excruciatingly bad/awesome Rocky-IV).  From the description It wouldn’t be a Rocky movie without an epic montage, a good and bloody fight, oh and some dialogue, too. There are, in fact, only a few basic narrative elements that make up the formula for all six Rocky films. Using empirical data collection (i.e. watching the six movies over six days straight), Rocky Morphology analyzes the Rocky series in order to identify its key narrative elements. It’s interesting to see the battle between dialogue, montage and fighting throughout each film. Dialogue beats out training and fighting in the first two Rocky films, but fighting and montage occupy the most time in  Rocky III and  Rocky IV .  Rocky V  favors dialogue over fighting — undisputedly slowing its pace next to the previous films. In the final round, Rocky sticks with dialogue over fighting ...

Thrill to the amazing blend of "eastern" and "western" fighting skillz! Marvel at the miraculously placed pommel horses in Parmistani town squares! Root against the Anti-American Sentiment! And best of all, watch the whole damn thing online on the Tubes of You ! Life is - indeed - awesome... (Yes. 2nd Greatest. Road House  is, and always will be, the Champeen)

I remember the moment when the above happened, the sheer awfulness of the WTF  moment. I remember convincing myself that perfection requires a flaw , that Andie MacDowell's horribleness made everybody else sparkle so much brighter , and so on. Well, it turns out that it wasn't just me - that others feel the same .  Russell Sanders -- You see, midway through the movie we learn that another member of the British foursome is herself in love with Hugh Grant’s character. ...  That character is played by Kristen Scott Thomas, an actress who is not only astoundingly gorgeous but also has more charisma in her elegantly manicured little finger than Andie MacDowell has from stem to stern.  And we are meant to watch with sympathetic interest as Mr. Grant chooses the latter instead. Which is absolutely  true.  I mean - Kristen Scott Thomas vs Andie MacDowell? Andie MacDowell? GAH!

The trailer is in, and it seems to have quite a different tone from the first movie (which was surprisingly endearing, I might add).

Hoisted from The Tubes Of You , this is, most definitely, not  the Movie you were looking for (i.e., the one below), but it is  the original :-)

This  is the movie you have been waiting for!!!

ETERNA from Behind The Epic on Vimeo . This, this , my friends, is a movie trailer. If the movie actually existed, it would be exists solely in the fever-dreams of Joel Shumacher and Michael Bay, one that even god could only dream of. Sadly, it is nobbut a mashup put together by Belarusian Vadzim Khudabets. Still, awesome is awesome - check it out... (Screen-grab below - video above)

Kieran Healy brings the pain to Monsters University  by applying a dose of Infrastructure Management to Pixar's latest A sample  Classroom spaces also seem poorly equipped to address the needs of nontraditional monsters, especially giant monsters. Disturbingly, the two giant monsters we see are both depicted playing sports: a female giant monster is shown playing giant ultimate frisbee (or possibly ultimate giant frisbee), and a giant slug monster is evidently the key player on the football team. And yet all of the classrooms are tiny, or accessible only by very small doors that even a moderately-sized undergraduate would have trouble fitting through. One has to wonder whether Monsters University recruits these talented young giant monsters for anything other than their athletic ability. But this pales with the conclusion, which is inexorably evident from Economics, viz. Two expelled former students have gone on not only to rise to a level of occupational success that...

What happens when you spend 6 months analyzing 10,000 porn stars and their careers ?  Well, apart from creating what is arguably the easiest setup line in the history of setup lines, you also end up with a trove of data, and one massive infographic, and some fairly surprising statistics such as the most common hair color (brown) The most common female role (Teen, followed by MILF) The most common names (Nikki Lee and David Lee. Why? No clue...) and a whole bunch more Anyhow, the infographic is located here (its huge, so I'm not going to bother embedding it)

I know, shooting fish in a barrel, but, seriously, who on earth actually goes to see this things? And why?  For gods sakes, why ? Note, the descriptions are straight from IMDB.  Sometimes, no embellishment is necessary. The story of a woman who loves her dog more than her husband. And then her husband loses the dog. (In the running for worst movie of 2012 ) A swinger on the cusp of being a senior citizen with a taste for young women falls in love with an accomplished woman closer to his age.   After he's fired from his job, an everyday guy faces pressure from his wife to have a baby and from his mom, who has decided to move in with the young couple. A meddling mother tries to set her daughter up with the right man so her kid won't follow in her footsteps. (Special mention as the Worst Movie of 2007 ) Three female employees of the Federal Reserve plot to steal money that is about to be destroyed. (Special mention - 3rd worst movie of 2008 )

WuMo (once WulffMorgenthaler) nail it with this . Mind you, whats almost as bad is when they're messing w/ the TSA...

From The Droid You Are Looking For , we have this awesome flowchart (Click to embiggen. A lot...)

Its always nice to suddenly discover a classic  trope, especially one that has been around for a long time, but which you just hadn't noticed.  I present to you - Vasquez Always Dies When two  Action Girls  are featured in the same film, invariably the tougher, more competent, more aggressive and less feminine character will die, despite being better equipped for the situation at hand. This can range from appearance ( if one woman is wearing sensible shoes, and the other is wearing high heels ), personality, or other traits . (more...)