Awesomeness in Restaurant Takedowns - #TheGuardian Edition

Jay Rayner takes a deep breath, channels his inner Pete Wells, and lets forth long and proud on the hilarious insanity that is The Beast in London.
Go read the whole thing, it is both riotous and brutal at the same time.
Selected passages follow..

If Beast were a chap, he would be a part-time rugby player smelling of Ralgex who’s trying to tell you he’s deep and thoughtful, even though he’ll later be implicated in an incident involving a traffic cone and a pint glass of his own urine.

[...]The corn-fed, dry-aged Nebraskan rib-eye, with a carbon footprint big enough to make a climate-change denier horny, is bloody marvellous: rich, deep, earthy, with that dense tang that comes with proper hanging. And at £100 a kilo it bloody well should be. At that price they should lead the damn animal into the restaurant and install it under the table so it can pleasure me while I eat.

[...]I finally conclude that Beast is the sort of restaurant invented solely to be photographed for in-flight magazines determined to present a portrait of your home city you do not recognise. I imagine there will soon be one in New York which will look just like this, with Dubai close behind and Moscow after that

He is probably correct about the New York bit fwiw :-)
Again, go read it!