Signs of the Apocalypse - Denny's Hobbit-themed Menu

As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.
Denny's - that fine purveyor of Calories - now has a "middle-earth" themed menu.  For proof, view the profoundly cringe-inducing ad from their campaign above.
Assuming you didn't throw up, you're probably strong enough to stomach the contents of the menu, which includes such awesome fare as

• Gandalf's Gobble Melt
• Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies
• Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet
• Hobbit Harvest Pie

and lord knows what else.
I bet if we hooked up a generator to Tolkien's remains, we could power Boston.

 For completeness' sake, i've attached the menu to this post - please don't read it