The $17,000 Oil Drip Pan - "Protecting us from Terrorists"

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The NY Times has the brilliant and heartwarming story of Phoenix Products, which produces the leakproof drip pans that the Apache Helicopters need because, well, they have some oil drip issues.

Being a helicopter, and one for the DoD at that, you'd expect stuff to be expensive.  And that it costs $17,000, well, its possible right?
I mean, we're not talking about something like the Plews Lubrimatic ($9.80), or Cox ($4.56).
These are military drip pans, and are quite probably gold-plated or something.
So yeah, $17,000, I'd buy that.
 Except, it turns out that there are peoples selling equivalent drip-pans to the DoD for $2,500
Bob Skillen [...] designs drip pans that his company sells to the military for a different helicopter, the UH-46, for about $2,500 per pan, or about one-eighth the price that his Kentucky competitor charges. The pans attach beneath the roof of the helicopter to catch leaking transmission fluid before it can seep into the cabin.
“It’s not a supercomplex part,” said Mr. Skillen, an aerospace engineer who used to work for the Navy
I bet its not super-complex.  Its a f**king drip-pan. Made of metal.
So what d'you think makes this one special?  Lets ask Phoenix Products shall we?
Tom Wilson, who owns Phoenix Products, defended his company’s pans as better constructed and more durable than others on the market. Asked what made them so costly, he declined to discuss specifics, saying that disclosure of the company’s custom design could help competitors or even aid America’s enemies.
Get that?
We can't find out, because if they make it public, we'll aid America's enemies!
I can just see it - Terrorists attacking our freedoms with Oil Pans! The Humanity! The Humanity! 

Seriously, I don't even bother reading The Onion anymore - the regular news is funny enough...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I believe evey word of this article. The Congressman needs investigating and has needed it for many years. For some unknown reason, many people in his district believe he is some kind of King. They contantly talk about how much money he's brought into the area. I wonder what these people think his job description consists of? Why do they not understand that he is a public servant... THERE TO SERVE HIS DISTRICT? I WISH I COULD SIGN MY NAME BUT I WOULD PROBABLY GET FLOGGED OR WORSE!!
May 22, 2012 at 3:36 PM
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