NoSQL will rot your brain! (Or something like that)

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D'you remember this ridiculous article in The Database Journal on "The Hidden Cost of Scaling in NoSQL"?
I won't go into it again - if I remember correctly, I summed up my take on the whole article as
 Mind you, they did miss the following very important points too

  • Baby Seals:  NoSQL developers club baby seals with joy and abandon, and make gloves with their flippers
  • Puppies : Using NoSQL makes you want to kick puppies (and kittens!)
  • Nazis : Hitler used a NoSQL database
Seriously, if this isn't sufficient reason for The Database Journal to be shut down, well, I can't think of a better one...
Now Sreedhar Kajeepeta in InformationWeek has tried to one-up them with the provocatively titled NoSQL Everywhere? Not So Fast.  The difference, this time, is that instead of a series of ad hominem attacks, this article takes the Cool-Whip approach (An argument that is so content-free you end up nauseated, and acquiesce by default).  For example, this wonderful secton
But remember, there's a reason structured data and relational database management systems have ruled the enterprise roost since the '80s.
Ok, clearly we're about to find out why RDBMs rule the enterprise roost, right?
SQL--along with technologies like distributed caching platforms that have helped cement its dominance by bringing in-memory caching and clustering of data--is the go-to choice for mission-critical, high-performance use cases such as airline reservation systems and financial/securities applications.
 Huh? 
What? 
The reason RDBMs rule the enterprise roost is, because, they are the go-to choice for enterprise?
Holy Circular Argument Batman!  If it wasn't for my Erlang recursive development chops, I'd have been lost without a trace in that loop!

Seriously tho', the rest of the article is pretty much in the same vein.  I'll forgo the obligatory Fisking (mainly 'cos I'm now in the "Nause" phase of the CoolWhip argument), but will also point out that the entire article is also remarkably worthy of playing Buzz-Word Bingo, managing to hit the holy-duo of being both content-free *and* Buzz-word filled.
Impressive, I tell ya...

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