How to be the Greatest Investor In The World

This, gentle-folk, is why you should always remember the first rule of Poker - look around the table - if you can't spot the sucker, its you.
Exhibit A is Joseph A. Dear, the chief investment officer for Calpers. From an NY Times article, we have

He said that Calpers’s investments in real estate had been “a disaster” and that its hedge fund investments had not met their benchmarks and were under review. But he said that its private equity holdings had easily beaten public stock returns over the last decade.

“Over the longer term, that kind of outperformance represents real skill, not luck, and it’s worth paying for,” he said.

Sooo, let me get this straight - if I parse the first paragraph above, I get the following

1. Calper's has (presumably amongst other things) investments in real-estate and private equity. 
2. Their real-estate investments took a bath.
3. Their private-equity investments made money.

So far so good.  Now,  to parse the second paragraph...

1. Their private-equity investments made money because of their skill at investing
2. Their real-estate investments lost money because???

Which leads us directly to the point.  When they make money its because of their spectacular investment-o-nalysis talentz.  When they lose money, well, lets just pretend we didn't ask that question, shall we?

Or, to put it differently, this would be like me claiming to have telekinetic talents - being able to flip a coin and get only heads.
How you ask?
Well, all I do is ignore all the times I get tails...

Seriously, this isn't even Confirmation Bias - its just Making Shit Up....